The Meaning of "Held but Not Kept"

“Held but Not Kept” is one of the most personal paintings I’ve ever created, inspired by a dog I once had and had to give away. While the black fur is a subtle nod to the fact that the dog has since passed, that’s not the focus of the piece. This painting is about the complexity of love and loss, both physical and metaphorical.

The dog, placed inside a wooden crate, represents both shelter and transition. It’s neither here to stay nor fully gone—it’s in a liminal space, just like the emotions of letting go. The boots next to it symbolize movement, a journey shared with its owner, but one that can’t last forever. These boots have carried the dog and its keeper through miles of companionship, but they also represent the inevitability of moving on.

The note, “Don’t feed me,” taped to the crate, serves as a powerful reminder to the traveler that feeding the dog would deepen their bond, making it even harder to part ways. It’s not an act of cruelty but one of realism—sometimes love requires restraint to protect both parties. The traveler cares for the dog, provides for it, but knows they cannot let the dog fall in love with them. Love that deep, is too hard to break, and this is a love that must move on to the next chapter, the next owner, and the next life.

This painting is about the beauty and heartbreak of holding something, knowing you can’t keep it. It’s not just a reflection of physical separation, but the emotional weight of loving something so deeply that letting go becomes the greatest act of care. It’s raw, real, and deeply human.